F#ck The Rhino

I remember an expose that featured on 3rd Degree about rhino poaching, it was during the time, Debra Patta got unbelievably lazy and started show casing retched reruns about transvestites (I suspect she was trying to tell us something). Let’s not get side-tracked, the rhino expose is what I’m yammering on about.

Basically, the expose waffled on about how hunters abused their hunting license and such and shot the rhino – all very sad Oscar-winning stuff I might add – that I just happened not to give a flying hat about.  Subsequently a Thai national plead guilty to organizing bogus trophy hunts to sell rhino horns on the international black market, and was sentenced a jaw dropping 40 years in jail.

Now I could be missing something, but when did a rhino’s value out strip that of  a human?

Recently two of the infamous Waterkloof Four returned to jail following their parole after serving just over three years for murdering an innocent homeless person. So 40 years for killing a rhino and 3 for killing a person that’s justice for you!

Members of the Waterkloof 4 after sentencing

Members of the Waterkloof 4 after sentencing

I’m so tired of this whole save the rhino nonsense, people driving around with red penis looking horns mounted to their cars. Really who pays good money (those horns aren’t cheap) to make their car look ridiculous. Or the Twitter #iam4rhinos; who cares what you for son? Have any of these things even worked? No dumb asses – your horns or Twitter messages have done jack for the rhinos as a record number of rhinos have been killed this year because people in Asia don’t care about penises… I mean horns mounted to your cars.

Rhino Horn Car and below...

Rhino Horn Car and below…

Red Penises...

Red Penises…

See there’s this simple economic principle we all forget (while playing with our horns) called supply and demand! There is massive demand for rhino horns and very little supply because those dammed creatures don’t breed fast enough apparently. So it’s a very, very lucrative business and ‘NO’ – hunters won’t stop until all rhinos are killed because the world cares about banking, not rhinos. Read that last statement chew on it and cry a river.


As our country flourishes, the needs of the Rhino remain the centre piece of our problems

Instead of wasting our time and irritating the hell out of me with the “I’m so forward thinking, because I’m for rhinos” psyche, try mounting a plate (yes a plate) on your car for the 12 million people – as in fellow mankind – that go to bed hungry everyday in South Africa. I’m not a rhino hater, I could care less about those animals. They are extravagantly ugly with that blasted horn protruding from right in the middle of their faces. I’m just asking for perspective, for I can live quite comfortably in a world without rhinos but I’m not so sure how comfortable I’d be to live in a world where a rhino was more important to us than human life.

That’s our piece and tell them you heard it from Matt “The Rat” Mkhize. 

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